Just holding it.

I have no reason to feel sad.
But I do.
There’s no need to change it (although I’m used to trying, a lot).
And I’m not looking for comfort (although I’m writing a blog about this).
There’s just sadness happening in my experience.
That’s all.
But is it?
What is so bad about sadness?
What is wrong with feeling lost, or melancholic, or even desperate?
Well, I guess we just don’t love it enough.
There you have it.
Or maybe you do, and I shouldn’t generalize so much.
I don’t love it enough, or I didn’t.
Because I feel that’s changing, I’m loving, creating space around this moment.
Right now I feel sad and a bit lonely, without any reason, but when I look it in the eyes from a neutral space, when I courageously explore it to find the painful edges and the burning darkness and all the other things I seem to dread so much, I can’t find it.
It’s like I’m gently rocking a scared little bear.
I’m not the bear.
I’m just holding it.
(Photo by @macrojr, for Unsplash)

Never the same.

Never the same.