What have you tried?
What did you do to feel better, more worthy, at peace and in love?
Where did you go, what did you buy, who did you talk or listen to?
I guess I tried almost everything, and I -sometimes- still do.
The restless mind wants to be scratched.
It might have been part of the search for a definitive solution over and over and over again, yet it doesn’t mind trying just ONE more time.
But restlessness doesn’t mean you’re not there yet.
It’s nothing more than the experience of a rummaging mind, tossing and turning, desperately trying to find a solution for tossing and turning.
You know how much it changes, all these attempts, but you just can’t help it.
‘What if I overlooked this magic nugget of wisdom that will dip me in bliss for the rest of my life?’
‘What if I am THIS close to finding the ultimate answer to fear and addiction, the answer that will help me stop asking questions forever?’
‘What if it’s the universe that wants me to do this?!’
Well, you know how and where that goes.
This post could easily have ended in the conclusion that you have enough and are enough, but you’ve probably read that a thousand times before.
So, simply do what feels good.
More studying, less trying, more surrender, another course or book, or taking all that shit out in the garden and fucking burn it to the ground.
What feels good, what REALLY feels good and natural (and most of the time far from spectacular or exciting for that matter), will tell you everything you need to know.
Go from there.
But of course you knew that already.
(Photo by @socialcut, for Unsplash)