To my big surprise, I have become a giver.
It took me over 50 years to slip into the habit it of it, but now, after my life started to change radically around 7 years ago, I can truly say I give a lot.
Giving is a funny thing.
The ego both loves it and hates it with a vengeance.
The ego adores giving because of its (perceived) altruistic nature.
Giving feels good in a Gandhi kind of holy way.
It has a spiritual vibe about it -and it might even build you some good karma!
But on the other hand there’s this deep distrust when it comes to giving.
There’s always a point where the ego starts to expect some getting back.
Especially in low moods.
The ego is a fast and furious bookkeeper of good and bad deeds, and has an amazing talent for looking at itself in the world in a very partial and wronged way.
And in that place, giving stops being such a good idea.
Now, something occurred to me the other day.
Giving can feel both really good and really bad and everything in between, but it’s only very recently that I’ve realized what it actually means to be a serious giver: you simply stop making a fuss about it.
I know that I’ve become a giver (and not just act like one) because I hardly ever think about it.
I just give.
I give my time and attention, my books, my blogs, my videos, my poems and my smile.
I give away free coaching sessions.
I give patience and respect and I give the last delicious piece of chocolate because I care more about the smile on my daughter’s face than my own sweet craving.
So, yeah, I guess it’s just another one of those bloody paradoxes, where stuff starts to feel prettay good in a humble and natural and really comfortable way… as soon as you stop doing it to feel good.
Whenever giving stops being about giving, it becomes more of a passing on, a sharing.
And then you’ll discover that giving happens through you.
Life IS giving, and you are just a part of it.
What a gift.
(Photo by @freestocks, for Unsplash)