Personal noise.

apr 29, 2021 | Awakening, English, Insights, Personal, Purpose and Meaning, Spirituality

There is a horrible, piercing sound.

In the apartment next to me, builders are drilling in the wall.
My wall.
I try to listen to my YouTube video while working out, but the sound makes it impossible.
This obnoxious noise.
It’s too early in the morning.
It’s terrible.
It cuts right through me.
It’s an attack on my wellbeing.
And it shouldn’t be there, after 18 months of renovating which were supposed to be just 6!
But I know this.
Oh yes.
I know this very well.
I know about the sounds.
I know that I experience way more than just this acoustic wave.
This sound has a million meanings, and I feel them all at once, in an instance, like a freight train full of garbage exploding in my mind.
This sound contains lifelong annoyances, hours of not being respected, nights of not being able to sleep, and weeks of not feeling important.
The sound is like a symbol of pain, anxiety, restlessness and deep frustration.
What I hear and how it feels is not the sound.
It’s my version, my creation.
And I know that.
And I don’t want it.
So I start to release the frustration and the anger.
I gently detach from the experience.
I take a step back, mentally, consciously, and the agony subsides.
The years of crap fall away.
And the only things that are left
are a sound
and peace
of mind.
 
 
(Photo by @mattartz, for Unsplash)