Sloppy creatures.

It’s one of the biggest misconceptions around.

A real nasty motherfucker.
What I’m talking about?
The idea that life is logical, and that KNOWING equals control.
It doesn’t.
And we experience this misconception All The Time.
‘I KNOW that this guy is bad for me, but I just keep inviting him into my world again and again!’
‘I KNOW I should give up smoking because it ruins my health, but I just can’t stick to it.’
‘I KNOW there’s no use in worrying, but I do it anyway.’
‘I KNOW I am making all this up, but it feels bad just the same.’
‘I KNOW that I am not ultimately a flawed person, but I keep having these thoughts that tell me the opposite.’
‘I KNOW that my fear of this started when I was five, but how come that doesn’t help me?’
‘I KNOW that the future doesn’t really exist outside of my imagination, but the uncertainty paralyzes me just the same!’
And so on.
And on.
So why is KNOWING something so utterly unhelpful and unpractical most of the time, even though it seems so powerful and sensible when we consider it?
Why do we keep believing in the unbridled power of logic, even if we feel totally lost in the execution of that same logic every single day?
Because our mind really likes the idea.
Because it makes sense, it has a soothing linearity in it, a black-and-whiteness.
Because it creates the notion of ease and order and control.
Even though, again and again and again and again, life shows us that it doesn’t work like this (it really, REALLY doesn’t, at all).
Even though we are almost constantly confused.
What is going on?
Well, the thing is: most of the time we live and behave in a really unconscious way.
And so we are mostly controlled by our habits and automations and preferences and all the other things that decide for us because we’re used to be used by them.
It’s a state of profound unclarity, a place where logic just doesn’t stand a chance.
Most of the time our knowing gets easily washed away by the deep, unconscious urge to feel safe and relaxed and good in the moment, instantly, right now.
Logic is merely a construct within the perfect randomness of life, a non-existing raft on an endless mental ocean.
Logic just sounds cool.
But it’s simply not how we operate.
People are sloppy creatures.
Beautiful, amazing, awesome, but sloppy.
And if we want to be free from behaving like freaked out robots, we’ll HAVE to become aware of who we truly are, and what we are not.
That which is not the thinking.
That which is endlessly bigger than the ideas we hang on to.
Somewhere along the line we’ll have to drop logic, and fall into direct experience.
And all of it will finally make sense.
(Photo by @rocknrollmonkey, for Unsplash)

Dear universe,

Dear universe,