Happy stupid.

I feel stupid.

And that makes me happy.

I feel stupid for seeing something that I already knew and have known for a long time, and happy because I see it much, much deeper than ever before.

Stupid!

Happy!

I’m gonna share it with you because of the slim possibility that in a moment, you might feel stupid and happy too.

It’s one of those things you probably already know, just like I did, but have somehow stored with all the other things that are a bit helpful and quite obvious but don’t automatically pack a punch.

It’s a big habit, a general mental process we’re used to simply doing all the time.

But if we become aware of it, I mean really, really, REALLY aware, as if we’re seeing someone else doing it, it has the power to eventually stop most of the shitty shit we encounter.

So here we go.

The reason most of us have lives that are so complicated and heavy and torturous is not the everyday pain and sorrow and resistance we experience.

All those things, all those thoughts, by themselves, don’t bring the endless worrying and suffering.

Pain, either physically or emotionally, is simply a happening.

It’s an experiential event, like a bubble of air surfacing in a pond.

Everything is actually like that.

Anger, frustration, confusion, doubt.

It just happens.

Judging happens, worrying happens, hate happens.

Frustration and fear and nervousness happen.

A funny thought happens, and a superior thought happens.

And although all of these things have an inherent energetic quality, they still don’t force us to be caught in it forever.

If we could only leave it there, in the happening itself, in the mere occurrence of the thing, it would never become bigger than it actually is or has to be.

It would just be the normal stuff of life.

The ever-changing stuff.

Painful, boring, gripping, scary: sure, all of that.

But not the endless, agonizing rabbit holes they mostly turn into.

The problem is: we take whatever we don’t like in our experience, whatever we’re opposed to, whatever we believe shouldn’t be there, and blow it up straight away.

And the blowing up is the REAL problem.

The stories about it that arise and grab our attention.

It’s not wanting it and hating it and despising it and fighting it where it gets out of hand, all the time, every time.

Pain is just pain if we have no opinion about it.

And this is true for everything else.

Maybe the real insight I had is that I have no obligation to run with any of the life stuff.

Maybe I realized what I deeply want out of life (autonomy and peace), instead of what just keeps happening all the time.

Sometimes we need to see how impersonal it actually is, how utterly fleeting and compact, to step out of the stupidest habits.

We don’t have to try and understand it, fix it, make it go away, or believe it into more and more sorrow and confusion.

Becoming aware of what is without getting lost in the follow-up our mind effortlessly creates, is tremendously satisfying and liberating.

Pain is just pain.

Anger is just anger.

Thoughts are just thoughts.

Bubbles.

 

Just watch them burst.

 

 

(Photo by @pictures102, for Unsplash)


Amazing.

Amazing.

04/06/2021