Finding your way out of addiction.

Jan 12, 2022 | Addiction, Anxiety, Awakening, English, Insights, Personal, Purpose and Meaning, Spirituality, Typically Me

When I quit drinking after decades of severe abuse, I thought life would become easy.

Boy was I wrong -though not completely.

Eventually, yes, eventually life became easier, sweeter, more joyful, and simple.

Eventually.

But not at first.

The thing with drinking or any other addiction is that it’s very helpful and effective and powerful and practical.

As a matter of fact: in many respects, life was way easier when I still drank.

The alcohol was the solution for almost anything.

Sadness: booze.

Worry: wine.

Shame: vodka.

Existential confusion: whatever gave me a buzz.

Being fucked up about being fucked up: let’s get more fucked up!

Alcohol was the perfect short-term answer to most of my questions, and because I started drinking at such a young age, I had no skills to fall back on.

Alcohol made the discomfort bearable.

And I totally lost that when I gave it up.

It transported me to a place of nothingness, and I stayed there for quite a while, stumbling around, lost, hurt, confused.

I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that it took me several years to finally find some much-needed, sober grounding.

For a long time, there was just this no man’s land between old habits and new ways, where I felt totally lost and utterly vulnerable.

That’s exactly why ‘falling off the wagon’ (I hate that phrase with a vengeance, by the way) is so common, and so logical, and so understandable.

It was bad, very bad.

So, when you take all of this into consideration, why would you even start the journey from addiction to non-addiction?

Can’t you just stay a bit addicted, one foot in, the other out?

Well, that’s a question you’ll have to answer for yourself.

Not just because it’s you who’ll have to go on that uncertain adventure, but also because the answer will be your inspiration and reason to exist and take it from there.

I’m not interested in convincing anyone to do or live whatever.

I’m not anti-alcohol, anti-drugs, or anti-whatever.

The simple thing is: we have to find our own reasons, our own calling, our own power, and if that’s something you’re not interested in, if you’d rather stay in the relative comfort of your habits, it’s okay.

That’s up to you.

Quitting, not quitting.

Trying, not trying.

It’s up to you.

You.

Isn’t that the most powerful realization ever?

(Photo by @anshu18, for Unsplash)

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