Breaking the spell of fucked up parenting.

Jan 22, 2022 | Awakening, English, Insights, Parenting, Personal, Purpose and Meaning, Relationships, Spirituality, Typically Me

My parents fucked me up.

Not because they were bad people, but because they were people.

(Or are, kinda: my mom died in 2020 but my dad is still alive while Alzheimer’s is slowly and eagerly eating away his sanity.)

They tried, and they obviously wanted to do a good job.

They loved their children, but since they were mostly fucked up by their own parents and lives in general, that love came out in many different, often really crooked ways.

It can be hard to realize and appreciate that every single person in the history of persons always really tries, always does whatever they can do within the limits of their awareness.

There’s a big difference between understanding and seeing that and just blindly agreeing to it.

It can be hard and even close to impossible to find the place of acceptance that feels dignifying for every person involved.

People can do really shitty things to each other for a myriad of reasons, and we all have to deal with that ignorance and work with it.

My parents blamed my sister and me for their miserable lives because it was easier for them to be professional victims than to do something about it.

It’s sad, incredibly sad.

So sad.

And painful.

And unnecessary.

But we all have the freedom to fuck up our lives in endless ways.

Just as we have the freedom to change it, and unfuck it.

If only we knew that.

If only we didn’t revert to blaming everybody else instead of looking at what WE can do.

If only our parents taught us and showed us.

Yeah.

The good news: we can break the spell.

We have the power to unfuck.

(Photo by @lunarts, for Unsplash)