While many people are fascinated by the cosmos and the birth of everything in existence, I don’t really give a shit.
I have no need whatsoever to understand the Big Bang or matter, and I’m not looking for concise explanations of consciousness.
Because instead of making everything more complicated, I’d rather go the other way.
I live for simplicity, more and more (which comes down to less and less).
For here, now, this.
Whatever it is.
And I have no need nor wish to understand it intellectually.
I just want to live it, and feel it.
More and more I see concepts and ideas and stories about the world and life and all of that drop away, with nothing new waiting to occupy the old space.
The things I thought I knew for sure are losing their weight and credibility and importance.
And I realize that most if not all of my ‘certainties’ were nothing more than huge mental piles of concepts and constructs.
But what is ‘real’ anyway?
What is fundamental, without math, without science, without theories?
What is left if everything would vanish?
I feel a pull towards the experiential.
The direct dwelling in consciousness.
Knowing what it’s made of has no inherent extra value for me.
I don’t need to understand a tree, or a star, or water, or love.
And spending my whole life researching all that sounds like a total waste of time.
This movement, this tendency, is all just grace.
None of this longing for a more simple and direct experience has ever been a deliberate choice.
Some people drift towards the intellect and the findings of science; others float for the floating itself and are deeply content with just that.
Most of us are somewhere in between, of course.
I still love to talk about life and who we think we are, and I love, love, LOVE to explore the unfolding, the expansion of peace I experience, and the bigger space I seem to be aware of day after day.
I totally live for this natural, amazing transcendence that makes my human experience so much richer and less frightening, and it’s a true pleasure to help other people look in that same direction.
But while being passionately engaged in that, it’s mostly enough for me to just wonder, and not to explain.
Somehow I think we’ll never be able to do that anyway, and there’s an incredible amount of peace to be found in that notion.
I like the simple relaxation I am going through.
The smoothness (mostly).
The letting go of the need for intellectual grounding.
It is what it is, and I don’t need to know what that means.
Breathing in, breathing out.
(Photo by @8moments, for Unsplash)