I used to be very, very fragile.

Mentally.

The reason I mention it is because life just reminded me of that.

I was walking down the street when this mild feeling of dread, of nonsensical sadness, came up, and I instantly dropped it.

Automatically.

‘Thanks for the suggestion, interesting choice, but no thanks, okay?’

It just happened, for me.

And I moved on.

But in that instance, I not just realized how this is instantly taken care of most of the time now, but I also knew how often I’ve been completely fucked over by these random emotional openings.

The slightest bit of doubt, fear, or restlessness, could tip me over.

And from there, the dominoes of woe (woeminoes?) had no trouble falling for the rest of the day, into the night.

I’m not talking about suppressing emotions and all that stuff.

I’m talking about options that once weren’t there.

In the past, it used to feel as if I was dragging a bottomless abyss behind me that pulled me in, again and again, day after day.

Like living in a store full of misery, where I was the only customer.

And now the blinds are open, the light keeps pouring in, and the shelves are stocked with fresh joy and fun and awesome stories.

I talk about consciousness and awareness ALL the time, and this is one of the reasons.

It changes lives beyond recognition, and the changes keep coming.

It’s a really good thing that that same overwhelming sense of clarity sometimes reminds me of how it used to be.

Fragile.

Can you hear me whistle?

(Photo by @marekpiwnicki, for Unsplash)

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