I see it over and over again with some of my clients.

They live fearful, uncomfortable, stressed-out lives and want to get rid of the anxiety.

They want to know why it’s there, and how it can go away.

They want to understand what they’re afraid of so they can deal with it (although they’re not really looking forward to that).

But most of the time there’s not a good or satisfying reason, not a specific and really clear ‘thing’ out there that causes the anxiety.

I DO agree that you can overcome this type of fear by knowing what causes it, but what causes it is hardly ever a ‘thing’.

Here’s how I appreciate it now:

The fear is giving you something.

It’s not really there because of a specific monster or a real threat, but it’s simply there to keep you where you are.

It’s a mind trick.

The psyche has somehow identified a specific thing, goal, or even life itself as dangerous and unsafe and threatening, and it tries to contain you and keep you small and safe by creating anxiety.

Anxiety tells you to ‘stay as and where you are’.

It’s what happens when the calculating part of your imagination reaches its limits of prediction.

If you look at it like that, there’s an ‘upside’ to this kind of daily fear.

It prevents you from venturing out into the wild (aka the world that is full of tasty opportunities).

It prevents you from shifting your life because the change is believed to be overwhelming and difficult, and fear is the excuse to not go for it.

So there you have it:

Very often, fear is an excuse.

It’s not an excuse you deliberately made up, and I don’t mean it to sound like a morally questionable decision, but you’re using it just the same.

Unconsciously you do.

Fear is the best way to keep the status quo intact (feels safe).

Fear is the ultimate defender of staying exactly as and where you are (feels safe).

Fear is the thing you can point to when you say you’d really like to live a different life, but you just can’t (feels like shit, but also safe).

Most of the time fear is ONLY warning you… for change.


Would you like me to help you crush that disempowering story?

Are you done with your fear and inhibition, and are you longing to dream and do whatever the fuck you want to do?

Mail me (and don’t do it tomorrow).

(Photo by @saif71, for Unsplash)

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