‘It’s hard to be you’, I told my client.

And I meant it.

We were walking in the forest and I was coaching him on his lost dreams, his dissolving zest for life, and the abundant aliveness he once possessed but somehow couldn’t access anymore.

Familiar stuff.

I know what it feels like to chronically suffer, I know what it means to your well-being when your days are filled with confusion and pain, hopelessness and frustration, and there doesn’t seem to be a way out.

We all have experiences like that, and he was no exception.

He looked sad and lost, struggling to hold back his tears, while we were sitting on an elevated deck overlooking the wetlands with its hundreds of birds.

‘It’s hard to be you, incredibly hard and complicated’, I said once more, ‘… and that’s why I am so confident about your healing’.

‘You’ve been feeling like shit for years now, and although that might look like it makes you a lost cause, I see it from a completely different angle.’

I told him how, despite his chronic agony and lack of self-worth, he’d still managed to build a career, have friends, be in a couple of romantic relationships, and kept fighting for his happiness in many different ways.

He became really good at his job, he tried a million things to feel better, and every day he went to bed and fell asleep, no matter how hard the day had been.

Why don’t we acknowledge that?

We easily see what’s wrong with us, but we don’t use what that has given us.

We see how disturbed we are, but we NEVER realize how strong it made us.

We are beyond powerful, yet we feel like the weakest creature in the world.

But if you feel like crap all the time, if you’re always depressed and constantly fight a habit, if you are anxiety-riddled and exhausted because of your high sensitivity, you’ve been secretly building an atomic inner superpower.

Having a mess for a life is a sign of profound inner strength.

You may not have released it yet, but it’s there.

Day after day you held on.

Day after day you tried again.

Day after day after day you lived with it and you didn’t give up (although there were moments you’d have liked to).

And so day after day you secretly created more resilience and more resourcefulness.

Despite the fear.

Despite the lack of confidence.

Despite not having a plan, a hunch, or even a bit of hope.

Despite the head full of brutal nonsense.

THAT is what we’re capable of.

We’re capable of living as deeply disturbed humans.

And hanging in there despite all that, is the result of a power beyond our comprehension.

Do you know what can liberate you?

It’s your unique and totally amazing capacity to be with pain and confusion.

A capacity that, once acknowledged, can dissolve all the old ways, the old tricks, and the old habits that have been fucking you up.

You ARE that capacity.

Are you ready to use it for change?

(Let me know if this resonates with you. Or let me know how much you disagree. Or we could skip all that and have a (virtual) walk in the forest. Let’s make it amazing to be you! Mail me…)

(Photo by @lazycreekimages, for Unsplash)